You are truly ecstatic about the impending birth of your baby. But,
deep down, you are also grappling with fears regarding your new status
as a father. Understandably, you are not quite comfortable discussing
these issues with anyone—not even your partner. Actually, this is quite
normal. It might help you to identify and evaluate your fears, and take
steps to overcome or deal with them.
Financial anxiety:
This is one of the most common of fears associated with fatherhood.
Childbirth means more than an additional member in the family. In most
households, it also means that the dad will now be the sole
breadwinner. Reviewing your budget plans is one way you can overcome
this fear.
Fear of mortality: There is nothing
like the birth of a baby to bring home the fact of one’s own mortality.
Suddenly, the realization sinks in that you are not as invincible as
you used to believe. This awareness brings with it a growing sense of
responsibility. Your family needs you and you cannot take your life as
granted any longer.
Relationship insecurity : You
may have always thought your partner loved you more than anyone else in
the world. Now suddenly you find that there is danger of your special
position being usurped by the baby. You also realize that your spouse
shares a bond with the baby—one that you are not sure you would be able
to equal. It is important for you to face your doubts and come towards
an understanding that bringing up a baby is a joint responsibility
between both parents. The sad fact for dad is that mom will likely no
longer dote on you by making you breakfast or buying your clothes, or
at least not as often. Moreover, the baby will come before time with
you and even your lovemaking.
In addition, in the short run,
for all your sacrifice, you’ll likely only get to hear, “I want mommy.”
You have to learn not to take this personally and realize that your big
role, at least from what you can discern, in their life will only start
to really form after about two years of age.
Commitment anxiety:
Perhaps at the back of your mind you’ve always harbored the idea that
if things got really bad with your spouse, you could always consider
running away. Those thoughts might be fleeting and none at all serious.
However, with a baby on the way, there is no more “running away.” The
baby is 24/7/365 for the rest of your life. That’s a good thing, but it
is also a major change in how you view your independence.
