Single dad

If you’ve ever been to a coed baby shower, you’ve probably winced in agony over the bad jokes and painful party games. You probably hadn’t had so much fun since your wedding shower. Well, you may get your chance to attend another one soon, with yourself in hot seat this time. Here are our tips for survival.

1. Play along. Yeah, it sucks to be a dad-to-be and have to yuck-it-up with other sissy dads and the alpha she-wolves who are clearly in control of the entertainment. You’re not calling the plays on this one though.

2. Play along. You'll likely have to compete in classic shower games. Here’s a taste of two of them so you aren’t obviously appalled when they are explained to you:

• The Diaper Olympics. Here you are asked to compete against other non-child bearers to change a diaper usually filled with an appetizing mixture of baked beans and mustard and ketchup. Please, whatever you do, don’t mimic eating from the diaper. Extra credit hint, if you’re having a girl baby or have been assigned a girl doll, wipe from “front to back.”
  

• Who sucks the most? - You compete with other suckers to see who can drink down a baby milk bottle. If you’re really unlucky, they’ll use formula. Don’t worry though, not even the most sadistic host will fill the bottles with real mother’s milk
  

3. Play along. Don’t expect many drinks to be served at a shower. Showers are usually planned by women who aren’t in the drinking mode at the moment—they’re either nursing or pregnant themselves. And, crawling babies are usually the order of the day. Note to self: crawling baby is no match for tipsy, staggering 200 lb. dads. If you have ever done meditation or yoga, this is a good time to dust off your technique, pick a spot on the wall, and get into a Zen state until you’re allowed to get back in your new mini-van and go home for a nap.

4. Play along. If you don’t have any kids yet, be prepared for more talk about diapers, burping, and feeding than you’ve ever heard in your life. This is your baptism by fire, baby. You run out of the house screaming and you’ll always be that guy who just wasn’t ready to be a dad!